Weekend weaving

You know vast quantities of cussing doesn't make the Loom Loom Loom Loom loom (sung top the He-Man theme tune thanks to all who wish to join in with my musical tendancies) work. I'm not even sure I swore directly at the Loom. If I did I can be recorded ab being definitly not a Loom fonz should such a thing exist. It may, it may not. My exposure to the fonz is what was shown on family guy on the Church of Fonzy episode. Not exactly an expert in the making. OMG I just got attacked by a fruit fly! What do you say to that? You'd think flying up my nose'd be bad enough, but why won't it go away?

I have, after 6 monthsish of crying ahem looking at the Loom and running away screaming in panic ahem panicing I finally got part of a warp on. Part, the back half. to do so I needed the following things

1 Me (calm and compus mentus)
2 Loom (made up) and loom kit
3 CGBF (support of many kinds)
4 yarn for the warp (King Cole Mirage in Istanbul and Edmondton)
5 a cup of calming tea (Yogi brand and rather yummy)
6 a bed with a wire head and foot board (seriously)
7 grief for not doing it before
8 contract to finish it by the end of August as motivation (lets hear it for panic and leaving it until the last possible day)
9 a generous license to cuss and a vide variety of cuss words (at the yarn, my own insanity for getting involved in this sort of thing, bits of the loom, dropped bits of Loom kit and CGBF)
10 most of Sunday afternoon
11 Pizza, decidadly not spectular onion bhajis and naan breads for noms afterwards. i wasn't inclined towards cooking or doing anything afte. Degenerating into a tempermental "want food, thirsty, Raaaar stressed, come here you" does not incline you towards culinary creativeness.

Having this warped up makes me long to go and finish my cabelled gauntlets and then hung out a glove pattern to keep the actual digets warm.

So what did I get done? Well I and CGBF (manual said I'd need a friend so I opted for CGBF instead. Immediacy is good. He didn't complain about being hijacked). But things that are hijacked don't usually complain do they. I should say he was kidnapped but that not really accurate, but saying he's a ship or a plane isn't accurate either.

Either way I had a "friend", I had yarn and I had a loom. Quick meditation to settle down and off we go.

Check the necessary list. Problem I have no warping board. Or cup of tea actually but the warping board seems to be a more of an essential (although CGBF would have started arguing that point, he soon changed his mind. His back hurt worse than mine.). I could make one but I have none of the wood and...no drill and the slight concern that I wouldn't be able to make it more robust. no point the pegs bending. See its a board, with pegs in so you can measure out the warp (yarn that go the length of the loom or the warp) without it tangling (which it really wants to do, trust me). Slightly more pressing is the self imposed deadline. So off we go. No warping board, can't measure it out. What is it? Scarves, of them, one for me friend Linda and one for me. Weavers apparently believe in doing things in bulk. why do one when you can do many. Well I'm limiting it to 2. 3 maybe good but the other person I'd make one for has a really pale creamy complexion and I think the colours wouldn't help her. But if this works I have some more of the green and some nice pale blue and I'll be able to send her that. What with her about to start into an Australian summer I'm sure she'll love it. Anyway, the yarn still needs to me measured.... Has to be and I don't think I can do it the way it says. So how do I measure it.

Hmmmm. Right, the long ways bit is the warp. Check the book and 5 sheets (10 sides of notes!) Arraggh no idea what's happening. Regress to the pictures that came with the loom. I need a good length and I have nothing to measure the warp with. Well I could go from the back stick thing which is tied to the twiddly back twisty thing with the dial nob thing on the side, make sure its the right way. Then I can pull it through the stringy bits that have been coloured in through the teeth thing. Then I can flail around with the tape measures of screams, make up a good length, twist around a chair (pin in place with CGBF, must not entangle around him. Provide him with tea and a book, that'll distract him) then to the bed post and back. CGBF, cool and thoughtfully suggests using the head and foot board. That's about right. Double the length (up and down) and no stick. Decide again 2 colours is good. Centre purple because its the strongest green, purple and half wide green on the outside...
Do the purple first then the green take them off and then tie them to the stick at the back which still needs to be a certain way around. Ok. Twisty twisty, some yarn flinging later.... we have warp. Cut it off utilise CGBF's death grip to hold it whilst I do a chain thing. Crochet in huge.
Right, besides a sore back we are ready to go.

Intertwine arms up, under and through loom bits, realisation how strange a plant Honeysuckle is because it wants to do this (needs to actually but at the minute so do I. Mutual survivorship is at stake-I kid you not) lament the tragedy that is the fact that there isn't anywhere else to put it besides this table. Lament also about how there is no space to move the table. try moving table. Stop straining. It hasn't moved, decline trying again. Tie it to the back stick which we have untied. Unwisely maybe. Spend 20 minutes getting tangled in the loom retying it because untying it wasn't the best idea. Consider tying the warp to it under a desk, the castle and between the heddle holder thing bits. Ah ha, I've just found a "Warning do not enter sign". Wonder if I should (after witing CGBF on it) (note that says should, not could) print that out and glue it to something of CGBF's, or the bathroom door or maybe the kitchen (that'd soo impress the owner). Oooh, my trousers.... or undies.
Take 5 minutes to sit down and fully appreciate how close to further insanity I have come. Literally I did not feel the breeze because I was in that tiny tiny space between the action and the breeze appearing. And that's the only reason I did not spot it. Scary. Contemplate taking a drink of calming tea it takes a
Next, check thing, its 10 dents per inch (DPI), ummm pull thread through every second one.

Right, unchain it, untangle it, rechain with longer length on the other end. Bang head, swear, get tangled, swear some more, get warp tangled (B^**£ry ar$e) untangle, get yarn in paper cut, swear profusely. Miss fact CGBF is almost hyperventilating at the language. Yell at CGBF. Swear, swear loads at and about the tangle. You'd thing there was some invisible cat tangling it right before my eyes. Just how much can it tangle? breathing=oxygen, not fuel for obscenities. Breathe and try to be at peace,be at peace with the yarn. Not that yarn, hand spun. I shall ply it later, reward myself, sooth my soul (ha ha haahhahahahahahaha ha.)
Brief prayer to whatever angels are listening. Untangle it WOOOOOOHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Pull through the ties thing in order of the little flappy things. Shriek as little flappy purple sticks. Eeeek. There is nothing more alarming as the chink clink clink clink of something falling from something that was previously stuck..... B^**£ry have I broken it. Breathe breathe. Get the courage up to look and.... Well at least I know where the missing screw was hidden. Well no evidence of beer indicates why it may have come out of hiding. Obviously it took 5 months for it do fully check in there. Anyway, look at odd looking screw (that only implicates hardware items... I'm not helping am I?) decide not to swap it for the matching one. Place it with the other odd looking screws in the stash. Pill out Heddle (is that right?) The things that have holes in that you thread your yarn through. Watch CGBF disappear around the corner to watch Star Trek DS9. Leaving all alone, he just abandoned me for the TV and.... Morrow wind. Sob. i'll do that with his tea some of these days.

I need a break. Abandon it and follow Him and knit on the Blur Shawl (getting there, I'm very happy with its progress) I couldn't stand the thought of swearing much more in such a short space of time. You'd think I was channelling a Docker for a bit.

Return.
Feel glad I've already determined the middle tooth space (dent means tooth and I'm not sure if I should call it a dent. I'm also not entirely sure why I'm not sure about this) and marked it (yes its been marked, condemned as it were. Pity I didn't mark it by putting the tie through the two teeth on either side, so I could leave it on and not have to cut it off when I take the thing out -I think its the reed, but obviously despite making 6 sheets of notes I can't remember) with a blue length of yarn (acrylic-so it stays put).
Do one colour -pull through the heddles from 4-1 (right to left or back to front). Then pull through the Reed (sticking with my earlier delusion). Do happy partially chair based dance for the loom and do second colour. WOOOOHOOOOO.
Miss two mistakes, one colour isn't through a heddle, one is through one twice. Crap
I officially have a warp thing on the go.

All goes quiet. This, I can actually do myself. Facilitation CGBF to escape back through. Finish pulling them all through..

Light headed, stressed, sore throat and covered in yarn. Which was bought out with my usual standards of "natural"-colours or fibre. Its fraying. B^**£ry B^**£ry Ar$e.
Abandon it.
I will return within 4 days.