Jams induced exhaustion. Random strikes again.

Originally posted 28/7/9 (for CGBF's benefit 28/7/09)

I started this on Sunday
I. Am (was). Exhausted.

So much so I stopped and lay in a heap.
I (we part time) have however increased the jam stash by 5 jars. Its Raspberry and since claming the first lick of the rather dubious (self appointed) reward of licking the ladle (CGBF got the spoon) I have no intention of EVER having any more.

Why?... Pips.
Should have filtered, but I don't have the kit. It also (here is the cunning part) makes you look like you've made more than you have .

It tasted nice though, not too sweet, had a glorious ruby colour with excellent clarity. The instructions were excellent and we managed to avoid getting the jam separating. I distinctly if distantly remember my parents making some and the first (why doesn't this thing have spell check?) few jars were nothing but pips and the last being like perfectly clear jelly from and CGBF. We started with 4 punnets of fruit that we got at the farmer's market yesterday (this bit was typed on Sunday). 3 Raspberry and 1 Loganberry.
I got 2x 500ml Le Parfait (I keep thinking of Donkey from Shrek 1 dribbling and asking for a tissue when he "hears Parfait") bottles of raspberries in brandy syrup, 1 mixed fruit (raspberry, Loganberry and strawberries I rescued from CGBF who is the all devouring when it comes to the latter). I also ended up with the low sugar Raspberry jam (bringing some into work along with pancakes because the admin girls asked me to bring some in) and some tropical fruit in syrup.

Peaches, pineapple (tinned in its own juice) and apricots in a mixture of the pineapple juice with some Malibu rum with sugar dissolved in it. I was obsessed with it being nectarines. The fact they were fuzzy and had PEACHES written in bold block capitals didn't really twig. I was looking at the fruit and thought they were nectarines.
It all started well, clean and sterilise the jars. I do the latter in my slow cooker. Pour the water into it and leave it on high. Place and leave them in there until needed. The long low oval shape helps make it easier to get them out with a wooden spoon. Heated the pineapple juice with the sugar to make the syrup and added Malibu. Trust me when I say it stinks when you get it on the hob. Sugar and burnt coconut is nasty and leaves little lumps on the ring as well as brown stringy boogy (ewwwww ) like things hanging off the bottom of the pan . I rapidly cleaned that up before CGBF got back from getting pineapple. It'd upset him too much. Peaches, or maybe more accurately these peaches didn't want to give up their skin. They won. After 20 odd minutes of dropping them into hot water then flinging (oww hot hot hot Eeek) them into cold they (unlike the apricots) weren't giving them up. So I sliced some up and left others whole and mixed fruit up and packed it into 1x 1Litre and 1x 500ml Le Parfait jars (which went awol, I spent ages hunting around flinging obscenities the flat about the thing buggering of on a roam when it had no business doing so. Only for CGBF to find it within minutes of coming with the pineapple). Poured the syrup in and sealed. Woohooo. Few minutes preparing and sealing the excess syrup in the final Le Parfait jar. Then basked and nursed my slightly scorched fingers (those seals and the glass itself really do hold the heat).

Proceed the fight. The Maslin pan will not hold an upright 1L jar. Could it go sideways and could I fit the other 2 sealed jars in? No. Could I get the syrup to sit upright? Hahahahaha. Every chance it got it went pinging upwards from the bottom of the pan and started bobbin upside down at the surface. Forcibly ripping its sick little self out of my hands to do so like the sadistic little jar that it is. I cried and after fighting with it for 10 minutes had to repeat the heating process for it on its lonesome later. Thankfully the other 2 with the fruit filled and formed a seal. Pushing the clasp down helps bubbles vent out and since the flat didn't start reeking of coconut and more than it was already. I considered it to have not leaked. Exhaustion based collapse beckoned so I staggered into the living room and barely budged. I do this willingly and have 2 matches of stuff this week. Am I mad?

Well I am working on the sock so yes, I suppose so. I got asked by a very hyper person on the bus, I couldn't hear what she was saying well though. The bus was noisy and she was power speaking. Or maybe skim speaking. She was a veritable road runner (mep mep/sock sock) of words. Wonder if she'll be on the bus some time in the future?

Has anyone seen Pink's video "So What"? I've just seen it and it is hilarious. Jigging around on a lawnmover singing away while driving down a busy road. Considering how stupid H&E is I'm suprised it didn't have a "Don't do this at home" disclaimer. Its probably has (happened I mean). With a golf buggy.

My initial thoughts somewhere you are going to get someone who'd been dumped, was drunk who is singing would then get in the mood and go looking for a fight on a Friday or saturday night (maybe with their exes and co., who's to say). Stupid I know but there you are. People hurt or kill each other because of the colour of a t-shirt or what football team they support and in so proving there is no end of stupidness people indulge in. Anyway. Moving on and back to whence I came, I didn't or really listen to it. Not deliberate, we were busy and noisy at work and couldn't have the radio on. But when you consider it, I'd put money on somewhere people believing that there are dancing milkmen chocolate milkmen/spaceships and spacemen/cavemen hitting each other with chocolate rocks in their cereal. I predict there'll be tears when these kids (I feverently hope its kids)realise its not true, its in fact fictional. It'll be like finding out that Santa's lost weight after going on a diet because chimney's are thinner and smaller than the big Medieval Germanic farmer's ones that they used to hang whole haunches of meat up in to smoke. I cannot find a picture but lets just say that they are big enough for to fit a double bed in that thing. It was HHhugggge (also had a corridor that went around the entire house, acting like a giant cavity wall because they had no glass for windows and having windows directly outside from the living quarters would have been unwise when its -32 (-25.6 according to the online conversion website) Celsius the snow could be 12 feet high. The inside wall had little windows, the outer had larger to allow enough light to illuminate the inside. Smart huh? I thought so)

Actually I wanted to cover the instruction for the Maslin pan.
First it is the usual initial bla bla bla don't use it on children. Metal gets hot don't touch/lick/wear it when you've just put it on the heat.
Don't walk with it in a traffic jam or a teenager's bedroom (make sure path is clear its hot and heavey etc etc)
don't let boil dry (hmmm, fairly normal state of affairs that, average behaviour that bit. But little was I to know that from here it got interesting) as this can deform be base (hokay no quazimodo pans desired), and in severe cases turn the almunimim sandwich (looks at the base for a sandwich, hmmm, nope, its totally incased, on we go then) into molten metal (Eeeep bloody hell). If this happens switch heat off and allow to cool before removing ( If its molten and somehow you failed to notice(what were you doing? watching the entireity of the Lord of The Rings with all the extended versions?) I can only imagine if the sandwich (I did peek at it when I read the molten sandwich bit) was molten, you'd be moving the cooker out, complete with twisted metal to make space for the new one.
Well its a great piece of kit (Kitchen craft). Good weight, nicely made and easy to handle. Almost the most important factor.... EASY to clean. Really glad I got it.

Right, thats me blathered out. Its late and I need to spin and have my tea.

Jam, lots of jam and bubbling things. Strange poetry too I suppose

Originally posted 25/7/9
Jam, well we commenced with the jam making last night. Not quite hot off the press instant blogging is it? But the time I'd blathered about the spinning and the knitting I was tired.
So today I'm typing about it.

It all started with CGBF wanting blueberry jam from the blueberry plants. He liked the idea whereas I thought that eating or bottling them would be nice. Upon thinking of it the Bay and Blue recipe in the River cottage recipe book (from which we made our jam, which is rather good) sounds really rather nice. As does the plums in brandy with cinnamon, honey and something I cannot remember. Hmmm that's rather irritating. Anyway I won't be eating either as I can't stand alcohol but it should smell lovely and make nice gifts for my. And his actually now I come to think about it. Anyway (The Prologue). Because (I blame) the postage strikes (Wiggly Wigglers has always been good previously) the jam kit arrived late. So I looked at the fruit and decided that they really shouldn't be sitting around much longer. I just didn't like the idea of them lurking not only in the fridge, but the bowl for my scales measuring and getting any riper because beyond ripeness..... lies squish(y fruit). And not only is it not a pleasant thing. But I did not embark down a route of mollusc genocide and arguments with CGBF only for this stuff to go manky. All that... for nothing. Well that's not true, some of them will survive the year with that helped. Destroying a sluggy dynasty, so a plant based one may arise and thrive. And give me tasty things to eat in (hopefully increased abundance as they get bigger). Nom nom nom.

Anyway, CGBF was off to work, i was just me so I read the bottled fruit thing, then straight away made up my own recipe. I wanted a medium syrup so put 100g sugar into 350ml of water and 60ml of Napoleon brandy. Which comes in a very serious and sombre looking bottle. I usually have a miniature bottle of Convoissier(which I have no idea how to spell that correctly) to cook with and to get this big black bottle was a bit of a shock. Oooh, slightly scary bottle, being intimidated by a bottle. But I don't drink, was it expensive type? Would it be ok to cook with? Or a waste? Eeeek.

CGBF got me some Le Parfait jars which I love the idea of. I went on holidays to France for years and seeing them again was one (still is) of those things that bring back so many fantastic memories . Mainly of Baguettes and jam, medieval towns, French markets and swimming pools, the latter few of which obviously has nothing to do with Le Parfait jars but are still part of it. Anyway (The Prologue abounds) I had to go find my jar because I seem to wander around the flat with them and leave them in some very odd places. There is one here in the living room here now sitting beside me. CGBF was devouring a massive pile of toffees that were on the table. Somehow they were because they got knocked them onto the floor, which doesn't explain why I found them in my knitting and wool (I have some in the livingroom in case I feel the need to pet the pretty roving SMILY no bobbins ) sob as well a few as down the side of my chair and I'd tried to stop him eating them all. I resorted wandering around trying to hunt them down whilst he snagged one at random before he got at them. I ended up waving them all individually at him "This is mine and I'm putting this in the Le Parfait and your not to touch it". What did he do? Cleared the jar out and munched them all anyway after he asked me way I tired. Small children apparently get restless and annoying when they are tired and he thinks I'm the same.

Anyway, making bottled fruit, I found another Jar (fished out of the packet) and while I washed it I pondered where the other two missing jars were (one is still AWOL). Rinsed it lots as soapy brandy fruit is more than likely to be nasty and sterilised the jar with boiling water and then remembered the rubber sealing ring.

So I had to go, wash and sterilise another jar and sterilise the ring in it. Then I had the experience of a lifetime trying to cajole and then manhandle the ring around the jar. A hot ring (freshly boiled, mayhaps I should have let it steep for longer) onto an equally hot jar.

Heat heat heat, stirring to let the sugar dissolve, in the water and Brandy whilst I sorted our home grown fruit (white and black currants, blueberries and a single gooseberry) and removed the squishy ones. It wasn't particularly easy to tell which ones they were, although the two rather disgustingly enthusiastic blackcurrants which exploded all over my fingers were a great clue. Hard to miss that my fingers were smeared, absolutely slathered in blackcurrant innards. You'd have thought I was a 4 year old who was let loose in their grandparents garden (I've seen it/been it with great and more than slightly sticky joy. Much to my parent's consternation). I sliced some plums in half to line the bottom in a pretty flower shape but since you can't compact it or totally fill the jar they instantly swirled out of formation when I lifted it to look the following day. They danced and swirled at me, I could almost hear the tinny laughter coming from the jar.

I'd decided to put the halved and dekerneled plums on the bottom then pour mine on the top. Then with a generous jiggle allow my smaller berries to move into the gaps. So with the smaller ones sorted I launched into the plums. I found out after a few who'd set out to lull me into a false sense of delusion, delude me by coming apart easily and releasing the kernels happily. But then they hit and the kernals were literally welded to the fibres of the flesh. Twist juice extreme puzzlement huh ? and instead of nicely lifting off the innards fell out into a fairly horrible squidgy right onto my foot . Leaving me with something like a plum version of a potato skin behind. Blaaggghhh. Would those kernels come out without taking almost everything else besides a the outermost layer? Ha hahaahha ha. It was like wrestling something... horrible. If you were to go rooting around at the bottom of a pool of serious primordial ooze (it has to be serious, there's just no point in bothering with a pool of primordial ooze that isn't going to make the effort now is there?) you'd find something similarly nasty, it'd even squirm. Let me assure you that both would probably be on par for nasty Ewwwwww . Eventually wrestled some apart so they looked whole, more wrestling to get the disintegrating ones into a bowl from where they could be slurped enthusiastically up by myself (I can assure you that they were rather tasty). Plums are fairly enthusiastic about disintegration, almost as much as I am about eating them afterwards. Anyway, into the jar. My berries on top with the lone gooseberry sitting happily in the center (I presume happily, I didn't exactly ask how it was feeling. If I was about to have boiling hot syrup poured over my head I wouldn't be that happy so maybe that was a daft presumption). That done, bask, in that feeling of a (ahem minor) achievement (awesome,I've got it in the jar ) and back to the liquid. Realise that I'm going to have to do some serious boiling to reduce that liquid get it so that it'll all go in. Which will boil off the alcohol which I want for the additional preserving power (because I may just need all the help I can get ). Pouring some in would assist that I haz good ideas I do.

So what next?

Sterilize another bottle Eeeekkks the syrup is boiling dance it around the hob, how come its hard to remember which of the rings is the cool one? Testing them works too but its not so good for the syrup... But it is a nice caramel colour.

Good idea for the night-use what you need
Bad idea for the night-not thinking and not putting more sugar in. Using less so it should have been stronger. ach well
Delusion factor for the night-its ok until you try it
Delusion factor for the night 2-it looks ok and the syrup is a pretty burgundy colour.
Delusion factor for the night 3- ummm, I'm watching Frost on tv so I've forgotten. Is it just me or do guys not age? Use a certain body spray beginning with L and you can get a pretty girl instantly . Use man anti grey hair dye and you get a pretty woman all googly eyed at you. Gaagggh . Oooh I've remembered things will stay in place instead of floating or swirling around the bottle.

Right, get a kitchen towel into the big pot, seal the jar and ensure that its on the towel. Then some warm water, and it relax, let it heat for 25 minutes to 88 Celcius.

15 (ish, it all got... a bit paniced aftter that) phoned CGBF, hi loves its going well. It started to spew streams of bubbles like some strange jar shaped dragon. Streams of them out of random points around the lid. So I could compare it to Yellowstone. Abandon CGBF in a flurry of obsenities. Could I get hold of my parents? (who are they to have social lives)? Ah ha hahahahaha, phoned Aunty Anne, she's not it, parents? still absent, Granny, she'll help me (and its likely she'll be there), its beeeen agesss since she's did it. Oh the parents are on holiday. C*!p how could I forget (Luemburg at that precise time). Desperation is still pervading and there is still lots of bubbles . In bursts, usually when you least expect it. Other Aunty, who told me she hoped I wasn't making a mess of the cooker. Reassured all is well, yet again I've corrupted my cousin (whats wrong with Gooseberries I don't know, she likes them and they make nice plants. I hope she planted two, cross pollination being better. Whattt? What were you expecting? Something horrible? Charming.)

Decided that leaving the ring right by the clip wasn't helping. Blaaag. Wrestle it open and repeat. Minus phone calls and panicked shrieked swearwords. Fish it out abandoning them to cool to go blaaaagggghhh in the living room whislst staring into space. Oooh, not for anyone thinking of doing this the potato mashers with the horizontal base and handle on one side (so you don't have to try and wedge what can be a very large jar in the centre) are really good for getting them out. Just brace the other side with something). Tongs would help too but mine had to go back to Lakeland due to some flaw. Is it just me or have several big stores had that happen. M&S had a notice up too with similar items.

CGBF (much to my delight) the next day decided that it looked tasty and tried to get into it and couldn't break the seal. Meaning (obviously) it sealed .

From my rusty physics things expand when heated liquid and fruit expanded the air was driven out. Being allowed by hot band (moisture levels aiding to some extent) when the air and solids cooled and shrunk it caused a decreased pressure differential (slight vacuum). Basically the inwards pressure against the seal prevents the seal breaking. Preventing pathogens (bacteria etc) from getting in and spoiling it.

The Wednesday brought a jam making kit, Thursday brought jam. And I made it with CGBF (meaning we made it but it has to be from one of our perspectives and since I'm writing, and its my blog, its mine).

So singing, Learning to fly (Foo Fighters) calculating up to a different weight, plum juice (see earlier) and mad stirring. Mixed in with a good protion of mucking about and forgetting the recipe. Did you know that you have to fling jam about?

If its not onto plates (cold, putting them into a freezer to get them rapidly cool doesn't help. It just causes you to scream because you think your being burnt when you forget about it being cold in the first place) your trying to drip it into a bowl of water to see if it disperses or makes it to the bottom.

There was also a certain amount of liging about in mm ah not un akin to the way Iggy pop was acting in that insurance add.

But we came out of it alive and with 6 jars of plum jam. Which tasted really good and now has replaced CGBF's favourite which was strawberry. Which we made today. Along with some Loganberry in syrup (with brandy). We also have plans, involving some pineapple, mango, apricots and nectarines. Busy aren't we?

In honour of my plants which have given me jammable fruit and the new Harry Potter film I give you this. Which ended up quite prayer like, or a strange poem. Ooops.

I'd better go here, its late and I'm rather tired.
Great And Powerful Abjurcation Thing

Lo Cat I abdjure thee, tho I cannot spell well.
I will and command that thee n'crappy pas, in my plants.
For lo, they do be but seeds,
and cannot survive the ravages of thy ill doings.
For they, so delicate and soon to be pleasing in my sight,
are not even born as seedlings of the earth,
that came form the gardening center near Dyce,
Or maybe it was Dobbies in town.
For I do not remember, cos it was CGBF who bought it, with his dad
But I did buy the seeds, from a place online. That sold purple carrots
And yea I wast pleased
For I likth the purple, and the carrots and potatoes, when they come with cheese

For Lo, you crappy in the potato several weeks or some time ago and it dist die,
I remember not exactly when, only that we discovered its squidgy and strangely not mouldy remains in the pot. Wherest it was placed.

And thee crappest near the gooseberry, but it didst live.
For thee didst fear the CGBF, and the Gryphon (which wast me). Who didst stand and stare at thee.
At the time.
So thee feared to commit they ill doings nearby in the soft soil.
But not on the most blessed and thorny Gooseberry.
I should know, for I didst bless it. Because it was much merciful and did not stab my most delicate hand with a jeg.
For tho ist merciful and were infact planted by CGBF, whom tho dist stab with a jeg.
And he was not pleased. But he was not wroth at the pain. For he was laughing at me falling over, into the border.
Lo that hole wast and still is and chances are ever well be well hidden by grass.
Cos no one hast bothered to fill it up.
For we ist lazy and has much better things to do with our compost.
Which does not include your turd, and manyfold never thy pee.
For thou does smell. And lickth thy bum.

And the roots did survive, and the plant does thrive under our beneolevant gaze.
When we bother to go and look it it.
But yea the potatoe did die
And we were pissed.
For Lo that potatoe looked mighty tasty, and we thought it might do well.
So we planted it in the hopes that we mayest feast on its offspring.
With cheese and bacon.
And other nommy things.
For yea, that is a word.

So with great might and wisdom
thee flats brightest being, for I wast standth in the sun,
and everyone elses windows was closed.
So I wast the only one here standing in the sun. Truely
For it ist a truely bright and sunny day.
Thy now not mucky gardener realised this powerful abdjrcation,
which has been mighty and powerful through all the times it has existed,
since I made it up 10 minutes ago, whilst I did do the dishes.

So I abjure thee cat and all thy kind, for tho ist many and do not believe in abstanince, n'crappy pas, in my plants.
Lest I waffle at thee some more. And droneth on, in an Anglican style
Theeee Endddd

Solutions to knitting preventative‏

The day before yesterday I took the extreme approach to my sore elbow hindering my ability to knit. Originally posted 23/7/9

I exercised.
I did a warm up bit on a very good DVD three times and then I went to bed (it was 11:20). I will admit that doing the exercise earlier would have meant that I could have knitted too, but I was blogging til late. but my elbow feels less of the unnecessary stabby pain and my arm and shoulder feels less stiff. I can only say not only will I be doing more, but also another very important thing. Namely WOOOOOOHOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo.

Anyway yesterday I got chased into the spare room wherein my spinning wheel dwells by the alpaca fibre I have (loose, its just loose and floating around in the flat I tells you) to spin (a change from trying to drag me behind the sofa or into some dark and otherwise undisturbed corner to try savage me). Ahem, so in I went and...

Devastated
Besides one project my poor lovely wheel sits neglected and my eyes stream with mournful tears because I've run out of bobbins ARRAGGGHHHHH (that smily there is me screaming). I have one left which needs lacquered and is for the Corridale. I have no more and I am undone. Separated for the lack of a bobbin. They are only £6.20 (+p&p). But i'm in CGBF imposed administration, so I must remain bereft.

Ohh my lovely roving (pre yarn), how I love thee,
your soft fuzziness that caresses my skin, so soft and gentle
Oh how I could pour your luxury Merenioy goodness on the floor and curl up within your satiny folds. Oh how many black bin bag full I own, enough to make a bed.
Oh how I love thee, except the carding bit. (alpaca fibre) Which is fecking horrible. It shreds my hands and is fecking painful. Its like being brushed with a new running shoe cleats. They so weren't mine (in case your wondering).
I do have a drum carder, but its course and meant to be for sheeps wool instead of alpaca and other finer wool. I haven't tried it yet but the murnerous alpaca and I may be trapped together in a horrible cramped place with the hand carders. ARRAGGGHHHHHH.

I lament for my spinning wheel.

My one project for which I have bobbins for I have some blissfully delightful Merino. Shades of blues to aqua green and white and it almost spins itself. Delightful airy stuff that literally spins itself. Its commercial stuff and unlike some other commercial stuff I've got in the past it doesn't feel over treated. It has a lovely lustre to it instead of a dullness.

Do you want to know something, it gets better, seriously BETTER.
I've spun it with the intention of pling it with some nice white Corridale (spell-check wants Corrigible, ah ha haha, explains a lot)turquoise blue Merino. The white and blue highlighting each other to allow the natural colour variations in the blue strand to show up. Glorious. Sounds perfect doesn't it?

Corridale (hmmm squishy get a grip) , and Merino are my addiction. Hmmmm yumm. This stuff is gorgeous to spin (Corridale is a sheep breed, its wool what could you otherwise expect but to be some form of animal).
Corridale is different to Merino (oh the glory of the squishy Merino) and BFL, not better, easier than the BFL as its a bit shorter when it comes to staple. I think i'll be buying lot more. More colours, more fun and quite simply more squishy loveliness that may just be causing me to daydream about it and dribble. Ahem.

It gets painful though, sadly I am horrendously allergic to the Merino. I have consulted 3 different Drs over the allergy and none of them have heard of anyone being allergic to this or it would not be getting sold. It is extremely rare and I have got a hosiptal referal (finally) to see a specialist so I'll at least have paperwork for it. Seriously the last (first and only) time I spun it I was awoken in the middle of the night by my hands throbbing. The entire palm of one hand and half the other. The thumbwards area of the the learder hand that controls the twist and the entire surface of the palm side of my leader hand. I can't use it so I've decided to sell it to fund driving lessons and getting a car.

This allergy is a real pest. Thorntons chocolate brownies, Bounty bars and use Carex soap (stuff that sets me off), a great many deouderants and toothpaste are all out. Does that stop me spinning it? No, I wear lab gloves.

I have 1kg of the stuff, swoon.
If I hadn't things to do (such as work), that would have been my week right through to saturday filled (spin, lie on the rest, put on the niddy noddy, spin, play with merino, sleep. You should see where I'm going), as it was I had to regularly abandon my now much depleted bundle for work and other sadly necessary tasks. Actually I've discovered that showering pre spinning is better because then you've got everything out of the way and then can stop when you absolutely need to (as if I'd do anything else), instead of when exhaustion has you taking micro naps and your nearly drooling, your finger's are jammed in the flyer and you still don't notice because you will, must continue. You can just fall off your chair or crawl in a rather undignified manner into bed, Instead of sliding into a heap at the bottom of the shower or staggering around it until you mercifully give up and either curl up, sprawl or pass out totally. Maybe the water running out will wake you.

So sooner or later it will end up in Etsy or Folksy. I have 2x 100g of each colour (somewhere in the morass of fiber) and I'll end up with 2x 200g so I can post 100g on both sites and say if anyone wants anymore I can leave it long and uncut. I'll post pictures of it when I have some.

But here is some stuff I spun earlier If I can get it to work. Ah ha, it has :). Fantastic.
The unplied bobbins with a red, orange and chocolate colour roving spun up. There is also one of it being dried over the radiator and me holding it and a pen to show scale (whilst wearing those lab gloves). The picture of the bobbins spun but before plying show just the sheen that comes off the Corridale. I love that stuff.





Its late and I have to wait until morning to get the results of last nights jam based adventures blogworth (and yes, I did phone relatives to shriek, its work, its jam... ITS JAMMMMMMmm!)

Have a good Friday everyone.

Not yet a jammy knitter

It is time to blog again. Although this is horribly late because this blog steadfastly refuses to become visible :(. Originally posted 21/7/9.

This past week I've been feeling vaguely grumpy and dissatisfied. I spent the long weekend knitting on the Scarf of Cool Temperatures and got it finished. Resulting in a sore back from sitting on that sofa. Meaning not only do I have a sore back but I am now missing a bus-time or whenever-I-feel-like-not-knitting-the-socks project. Hence the double satisfaction. Now I could have started another scarf the same. In the crushed berry pruple mixture for Linda but will I be bored and can I find the other ball of yarn? Both are uncertain because I've alreaded looked for the buggery thing and it is absent. Maybe the cat got it (psst we don't have a cat sadly ). Considered AWOL.

CGBF protests me knitting for someone else, I did buy yarn for a scarf for him (Debbie Bliss Donegal Tweed, Aran weight in 22-Green. Behold a picture of it http://www.yarndex.com/yarn.cfm?yarn_id=3561 second from the bottom, right hand strip (my picture, their picture, all similar enough to merit me avoiding trying to get the bluetooth dongle working).

I've already picked out a cabled scarf for him form "Classic Knits for Men: 27 Plus Original Handknit Designs with Rowan Yarns" http://www.amazon.co.uk/Classic-Knits-Men-Original-Handknit/dp/1906007179/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1248211561&sr=8-3(note there is no legal requirement to actually use Rowan yarns when knitting the patterns ). Word of warning about this book, its the same as Knitting for Him: 27 Classic Projects to Keep Him Warm. The buggers on Amazon just don't tell you this.
I am currently refuting his argument about how it'd be nice to make him a large project or finish a scarf for him, or even its time he had a large finished project. But I finished a sleeping mask for him 2 weekends ago, he should not neglect it or.....forget about it and its place in the turn system. He shall wait...

I did try and retrieve the ahem phallus to have another go of it but seems like the imaginary cat got in the basket and tied it to everything else. And its almost felted a wool hairball for itself with a wool fuzzy to another ball (maybe its trying to breed and that's the self generated wool cloud to hide what its up to?). How? How does it happen? You leave then nicely tied up and somehow, mysteriously they all unwind and jam themselves into a ball then mutually scramble themselves (I'm thinking eggs rather than anything else) into a ball of mad noodles and bondage fuzzies. Well what else can it be, my yarn loves each of the other balls of wool, otherwise they wouldn't tie themselves together as fast or with such all encompassing and all entangling enthusiasm. I am utterly positve that many of those balls of yarn were not used so how come they are so unravelled?? Some of them still have the ball bands on! Not the worst of offenders of tangles but they are still in there as if its an equal opportunity fest in there. Maybe these balls of yarn are into some strange bondage kinkiness that i would seriously not know about (or want to). In which case I can only conclude that the ball bands (hmmm, that sounds worse calling them that) aren't the ideal tying medium and its squid love. That makes the thought of my having reached in there err not so slightly towards the harrowing end of the memory scale. Silliness

Anyway, I, ahhh misread shall we say the wool within the fuzzy and inadvertently broke the yarn instead of the bondage fuzzy that I thought was pinning it in place. You can be reassured that the urge to shriek something 4 lettered beginning with Fe and potentially being substituted by the word arse before settling with crap. Which was hurled with a not insignificant degree of passion before the entire thing was flung back and I hared off in search of a bus. To just manage to get the second one after some unknown/unintentional/unwitting (which word sounds best?) assistance from an irritable person who was bugging the driver just long enough for me to make it. With much panting and slight hobbling.

Anyway I also have a scarf which as far as can be determined is over eight and a half feet tall. Or taller than me contemplating being on tippy toes with my arms stretched as far as possible upwards. Its quite impressive and as of Friday I have started a new one with pale purple, pink and peach colours so I now have something to work on.

Jam,
Did you know you can sing Jam to the theme tune of two and a half men and it'll work?
I did, try it and use Marmalade for the long Meeeennnn. Well now you do and I'm sure that your quality of life is much improved by it . You don't even have to do it in the shower like I did but it does affect the acoustics. And probably weird out the neighbours through the wall. But they've had to listen to worse. "i want to get clean" from "I want to be free" by Queen. Serenading (its almost always accidental unless I'm trying to cheer myself up) my version of Queen in the shower sounds alright to me, CGBF is definitely amused considering the number of times I've come out to an amused comment amidst laugher.
Here's my song (why am I sharing this?) Queen, I want to be free:-
'I want to get clean, I want to get clean in my shower oh yessss, I want to get clean, Hot water, soap oh I want to get clean. I want to get clean, I want to get clean, its so lovely and lemoneyyyyyy, I want to get clean' LLa la, la da da bla bla bla blaaaa, oh no, oh no don't skid on the soapppppp'

Anyway, Jam (the Prologue). I have inherited 3.5 pounds approx of strawberries in the freezer from CGBF's parents. They went to a pick your own place and I got some to make jam out of. Now my mum is fantastic at it, she's sold it in the past. But my experience is limited to wandering through the kitchen at the time and eating it when its finished.
So how did I get to being expected to make jam? Blueberries. I have a few plants and it looks like we will be able to get some (yay ). He wants jam and I want to preserve in it liqueur. I'm teetotal (what is the origins of that word? I really should google it) and always have been so preserving them in liqueur means I won't get any. Considering I am really partial to them as evidenced by the fact that I own 6 plants (I think hmmm, hang on, yep its 6, barely. Wretched slugs) this doesn't really makes sense til you consider I'm not sure if we'll get enough off them for jam . Anyway CGBF got told mum was really good at it (she used to sell it after she gave a friend of hers who owned the local butchers some and he asked could she make enough to sell. Then somehow it got round to me trying to make it. Ummm yea, great idea. So I have ordered some books the best of which has vanished somewhere . Arraggh

I got the jam making kit form these people http://www.wigglywigglers.co.uk/ . They are a rural store and they sell lots of garden stuff from high quality garden tools to seeds, plants including heritage species (potatoes mainly, including blue and burgundy ones, how cool is that?! How come we've manages to loose 98% of all the varieties of vegetables within the past few decades. Don't answer that I know the answer), ecological friendly things and pro wildlife stuff.

I'm currently typing this at work on my break between swiping the hair out of my eyes every few minutes as the fan rotates around to merrily fill my face with it. Anyway. They have lots of stuff, I've got from them before and I can definitely recommend them. I've got gifts for other people from them and the recipients have likewise been delighted (except my dad and it takes a lot to get him excited, sorry dad. He was impressed, thought they'd be useful but excited, no). Anyway, their customer services are good and their selection is fantastic. It hasn't arrived yet but when it does I'll post what I think of it. Usually they are really prompt for delivery but there is postal strikes down south in 2 places so thats held things up. I like the way the recommend books and items to go with it too.
I hope it arrives soon, I got a bit pre-emptive and got 2kg of plums with the thoughts of plum jam (I'm not a great lover of jam. Why am I so excited when I have no intentions of trying it myself- I have a test subject, its CGBF). I've managed to find the books and since we've got a few handfuls of ripe fruit I plan on preserving them in the little sealable swing top lids in either Convassier brandy or syrup and testing it on CGBF which tastes nice. We have a gooseberry (lone drinker as its going into the brandy), white currents, black currents and blueberries.

I've since typing this done something but I'll cover it (and the slightly frantic phone calls) in the next blog.

For those of you who are wondering how to tell how White currents are ripe there are two methods. Taste and colour/clarity. Taste is for the individual, try it and consider do you still have a smile? Can you manage one? Are your eyes squinting and glazed? Is so then the answer is no, its not ripe. I hope you remembered how it looked so you don't repeat it. Colour and clarity, here you look for a high clarity clear berry with a nice shine, much like red currents but a different colour. You can actually see . The fruit will be sweet and may have peck marks from birds. I actually told CGBF what to look for and he really gingerly tried it and looked rather pleased and surprised when it was nice. He remembers my face when I tried a cranberry. Their juice may be lovely (possibly, because they are loaded in sugar), but the fruit is horrible. Things must have been desperate when they were put on the edible list and wierd that they haven't been taken off of it. I pity the American sailors who had to eat them to ward off scurvy. another anecdote, British sailors ate limes which is why they were called limeys. Actually that's a point, he can check them too . Sugar and or brandy can only improve them. Can hardly harm.

So at the minute what I plan to do is make some up and use them as gifts for my family. The parents love the preserved fruit and since stashing it in brandy with some spices seems easy enough. So I think if I see some fruit reduced I'll try it out and see what works. The main conundrum seems to be buying the bottles. I got The River Cottage Handbook about preserves and it suggests some private companies that sell them. I love to support the smaller company, but when high street company is selling them for over a £5 less and I can get them in Aberdeen (instant satisfaction) then its hard to justify doing that. Arragggh, horrible horrible choice. I got the jam kit from a private company which makes me feel a bit better .

I wonder can you do a cranberry version of sloe gin? Both have the commonality of being really excruciatingly bitter and subsequently requiring a monsterous quantity of sugar to make them even remotely palatable. Why am I wondering about this? Its not as if I know anyone who drinks it. Almost as bad a quinces (judging from my youngest brother's face, took him oooh, about 3 days to be able to smile again). I plan on buying some of them soon, some red currants, crab apples and if I thought it'd survive, a Medlar. Which is a relativly unknown species from what I can tell with some rude connotations (the french call them dog-bottoms and the English called them "Open Arses"). My grandparents or someone known to them so I've seen them before, even if I've never tried them. Or maybe they were growing somewhere. Hmmm, anyway I digress. Medlars apparently taste really nice, but they need to used after the've been allowed to Blett (soften). Commonly by frost which causes the inside to become like apple sauce apparently (got to love Wikipedia ). They are eaten raw or used for jam and to make wine with! I'm more interested inthe jam. Did I mention I don't eat jam? I like making things tho. No wonder my uncle called me terribly domesticated to CGBF .

I do kind of need to get them soon so they have a chance to acclimatise to Aberdonia's temperatures. Which is a problem considering most places want to post in November. Hmmm, that maybe a problem.

Anyway I need to go get some spinning done, I have knitted too much and my elbow hurts . I also have 2 adults volume worth of wool decorating several spaces in the house and almost the entire spare room. Ahem .
I have decided to spin and sell some stuff to pay for my driving lessons. The busses are striking here and that compounded with the fact its time for me to have another go (de car, I got scareded me) with it is good motivation. I have already picked my car, a Volkswagon Golf. I have yet to decide how many doors to get or what colour. I'd like purple, but CGBF is refusing to get into it when I get it. i haven't seen any and since I'm buying a "pre-loved" (or loved in which is a really nasty thought)

Anyway I have some blissfully delightful Merino which I shall rave about when next I blog along with my bottled fruit fun (ah hahahahaha ).

Brave the wrath of the sock and a slight grumble thing

Ooops, I thought I posted this Monday past but instead I pot it in as a draft.

Would it be invoking sock misfortune if I posted pre-emptive its going ok? Hmmmm

The first and second time, it got the long strand thing between stitches when I went to do the first row after casting one. So I cast on with a different method. It worked! Its cuff down and although I haven't finished the cuff I'm about half way there. The circumference is not too massive, it stretches properly, I'm not sure if it'll go over CGBF's foot but I haven't got him or his foot with me to try it. I think...Its going ok. I wonder if it'll fit?

Ohhh I'm stuck in the house and my only method of communication with the outside world... is this blog I tell you. Well besides hanging out the window going yoohoo at random punters, or the phone.

There was... a SPIDER beside the door, and a great big hairy moth outside it. Well I'm not afraid of moths but there could be a great big hairy spider to match the moth. Now CGBF relocated the (extremely active if I must say) spider, but he's gone to work. I'm on my own with my sweet chilli sauce (no I don't drink it but I've just noticed it sitting beside the computer for some obscure reason. I am giving it this look--> right now). Anyway it could be worse (I'm back to the spider) a few weeks ago there was an... incident.

There was a hunting spider in the bathroom, under the sink, which is right beside the toilet. His name... was Hector (working through CGBF's workmates). I now know how long I can hold it in for. There was a slight standoff one morning as it was between me, and the toilet. Yes indeed, first thing when I was sleepy it had to move and wait for me then stare... Me staggering around towards it initially before stopping in bleary eyed huh? didn't phase it, but after a few minutes of me staring and going oh no, I need the loo, arrgghh, this isn't good, what do I do and Eeeep. It moved. So I got a toothbrush holder (yes CGBF was indeed charmed) over it and could finally get to the toilet, and finally relax. At least now I can go to the toilet, I just cannot leave in case Ann (today's Spider) is still on the mat.

But I have had some thoughts in regards to something non wool related that I wish to share. Bras

Sport Bras in particular.
A walk recently brought this to my attention recently.
Ladies (and gents if your the proud owner of a pair of moobs-I know someone who calls the man-Norks). Even if you are an A cup you cannot undertake any form of exercise, especially jogging without a Sports bra. You are just blatantly wearing out your boobs and applying unnecessary wear and tear on them. Have you not noticed the jiggle and feel your balance thrown off with every step? That's you stretching and tearing them. You are busting your boobs. Step bounce stretch, step bounce jiggle stretch. Or, if like me and many other ladies you qualify for the miss big bazongas category its step bounce stretch unconscious. Which is not a sexy look. Be assured I am applying a serious expression to this (can't find a suitable smiley). It is also bad for you teeth, being hit by your own flying cleavage is not only likely to be sore, but an embarrassing thing too I imagine. Honestly, only imagine. Your shoulders, back and posture all are affected by their movement and they can move by an alarming degree
A rapidly changing centre of gravity really does throw your posture. It is also fantastic for making you feel sick and wobbly (or me at least, I so hope I'm not alone with that) and need to hug the floor, love that floor and all the sweet security it brings.

I got these details off the Shock Absorber website so consider it an indirect quote.
Unsupported breasts bounce by up to 14 cm during exercise.
This can lead to permanent damage as there are no muscles in the breast. They are made up fat, breast tissue and are supported of the suspensory Cooper's Ligament. Which can stretch beyond repair and lead to irreversible breast sag when unsupported during exercise.
Actually bras stop boob movement by only 38%, Sports bras can stop by up to 74%.

Wear a sports bra, I can personally attest that it will make exercise easier. Even if it does transform as if by magic your lovely cleavage, as if by magic into a giant monoboob. Capable of destroying small ships if you paddle fast towards them. Love, care and protect that cleavage unless you want them to your knees because of abuse.

Anyway, I'd better stop rambling and go make up some socks and do some spinning or crafty stuff.

For I have more craft than common sense for...
I have some pins, fingers with blood in them, an idea and, some wool (ah ha ha ha ha some she says, some. They may as well call it a mine, a mine. Somehow I have the feeling my paws will end up come out looking the same in regards to carnage). I have a cunning plan what crafty that sounds quick and involves wool to try out next. Give me a quick fix as it were.

This may not go well, for my fingers. I may need gardening gloves. And some plasters. Lots of plasters.

I also need to stop feeling temped to pretend to surf the pivot point in the middle of the bendy busses (at 6:30 am) and daydreaming about bringing squirty bottles home and filling it with a watery mixture of yellow fairy and tea and squirting it out the window at the drunks whilst screaming in random words in Anglo saxon at the noisy buggers (I have a dictionary and know a few words, woll is wool, wollen is made from wool, wulf is what eats the source of the wool. catt(e) is what lies in the wool or sits on you can't move, to get the wool, ears means arse, which is what I scream (in english) when something goes wrong, tongolcreaft sounds cool and is on the same page as arse) . I could so make the contents look sooo dodgy and... soapy.

Anyway, I'm off make up socks-bought pairs* craft and wander around in my jammies. Thought I'd share that with you, as if you needed/wanted to know.

* high mobility socks, awesome discovery when I made it, they get bloody everywhere and usually, not in pairs. Very mysterious. You know we have a clothes basket (and sock box, it jingles), it eats packets of pegs, that's an afternoon I'll never get back. Its also typically filled with CGBF's shirts. Hang on.............................. Right that's some stuff sorted. Actually that reminds me I should go on a sock hunt in the near future. Do I sound sock obsessed?

At least my scarf (of Cool Temperatures) is almost finished.

Big flappy thing

I wrote this on my other blog last night (or early this morning) at 2:10. Since I am still not convinced that this blog is working properly I'm not swaping over totally.

There is... A rather large flappy thing in my room.
I can't identify it which is rather unusual.
I am not particulary happy with this.
It being there as well as me not being able to identify it.

So far since I've got up thats been Anne the spider, a big hairy moth, and a big flappy thing on my roof.

All show up, when I'm alone.
Which also means a further incursion of CGBF.
The fact we co-rent this place is irrelevant.
Except where dishes are concerned.

This may not bode well for the summer.
Or the rest of my life.
I am not refering to the dishes with those last statements.

Me against the socks. And Crochet!

I really would like to learn how to crochet properly.

Knitting basics I was taught when I was younger, but for Crochet my mum stopped at the single chain. So I can do the single chain and I taught myself multi chains. But making anything more advanced doesn't ever seem to turn out quite right. So far its gone quite wrong actually :oops:

A good example is the munchy monster I quarterishhummm-maybe a half made (hope springs eterna, as does denial and sometimes, desperation) (I can recognise something not going right part way through) for Sardine (Hello :wave:).

The Munchy monster is based on something I saw on an advert a few months ago. Basically A woman is wandering along and sees a rather tasty looking Ice cream Sunday outside a cafe. Then a pink with white polka-dots puppet monster, suddenly and rather alarmingly from her expression pulls itself out of her coat. And then starts doing its damndist to get her to go back and eat it. Even hauling/trying to haul her around the street while she resists. It was like a small and very strong child with long legs. With no neck and a massive Cheshire cat type grin.

I can't put a picture of it here but I can post a link. I think I have to say who did it, its “McVitie's Go Ahead Snack Range – Go ahead Yoghurt Break Bar - Keep Your Hunger Happy”

http://www.visit4info.com/advert/Goahead-Yoghurt-Break-Bar-Keep-Your-Hunger-Happy-McVities-Go-Ahead-Snack-Range/60213


Criminal little bugger considering that this is in fact someone else's ice cream. The fact that they have just wandered off and abandoned it so it can tempt, taunt, torment and generally mock in an inconvenient manner innocent and munchy passerby’s is seemingly irrelevant (and strangely no flies, see if that was my ice cream, or any of my friends ice creams, or indeed anyone I know or have ever seen's ice cream, attended or no, there'd be flies. What the person did to drive them away is not shown or hinted at. Maybe that’s why the person is not eating it; they've done something to it, and it’s driven them and the flies away. This is not a comment on our cleanliness, just a statement of some observation about flies).



Anyway (The Prologue-that had to be expected) I planned to make a trio of them in different colours, Sweet (custard creams or Jaffa cakes, hmmm hob nobs are good too, nom nom nom), savoury (crisps or nuts) and takeaway(pizza, Thai or chinese) and, it didn’t go right.

How hard is it to crochet a flattened torpedo shaped thing with blunt ends? Well like (I imagine) many people thought, sure it can't be that hard, I'll give it a go. It is nigh on impossible, unless possibly you’ve been trained (Or are Extremely talented).

It started off well. I found something called the magic loop (I think that actually maybe something else sock related, I'm positive it is actually, |-|) on the internet, tried to follow it to create the nice base increases. Made my method up and things started to go very wrong and OBSENELY phallic rather rapidly after I’d finished the increases.
It got very embarrassing and for CGBF, hilarious as I was crocheting it on the train down to Edinburgh and it all got bad and it was all very embarrassing. Once the “No it doesn’t look like that, it’ll turn out ok, why are you laughing (to CGBF), will you stop laughing, ok it actually does I’ll put it away” denial ended. I have no idea why it went wrong or indeed why I am discussing this innocent object getting sordid on the internet in public (pictures later, the home computer doesn't like my bluetooth software any more :-/ :roll:).


Anyway, back away from the sordidness and return to decency, I have some lovely patterns including a shawl and I would really like to make it. It is however, intermediate-advanced and I haven't finished my first repeat of my first shawl. Which is knitted. Which I can do (mayhaps with errors but there you go). Optimistic much? I should show you the shawl of my affections. It is the Dragon Shawl made by Epicurus off of Etsy who does a lot of Crochet patterns. Patterns (shorter link) in her shop linkie is here http://www.etsy.com/shop.phpuser_id=33247&section_id=5060810

I have a few other ones, a rug, scarves, a loose top, but this is the main one I like. My challenge and thing to work towards.
What this shawl is, is a dragon shawl, with a tail, wings right down to wing tips a and spinal ridge. It even has stitches that imitate scales, its amazingly well designed, all the abbreviations are included and its well presented in the pdf pattern. Although it could do with being broken up because there is a lot of text involved, which can be pretty daunting in any sort of chart. The Lady (I’ve messaged her, she is very friendly and helpful) also produces the colour changing yarn to go with it. She will also custom dye it should you fancy a dragon of a different coat (though none should bow so low). That’s all the truth I know. Sorry for those of you who are not A Song of Ice and Fire fans, that a (poor :oops:) reference to the Rains of Castermere. I'll mention that later.


Anyway, if you can crochet and have made or indeed are making it show us. I’d love to see it and definitely think I should try learning again.

SOCK
I am not going to beaten by a sock, so I have got a new pattern (I hear that comment about running away, I tell you I am not, mutter mutter mutter, I'm trying something else).

The sock maybe thinking it has won the battle (it was able to easily circumnavigate my calculator 8|)but whilst I feel determined and rather stubborn, I'm going to give it another go.

I've got a photo of the ex sock (it is no more, it has become deceased) and a pattern called "The Harris Tweed Sock" by Ali Green (she has a book called "Put a Sock in it", I may get it if this starts getting enjoyable). I got it off Ravelry and it looks nice. It may even look nice in grey. I am mid way through casting on and shall proceed once I have finished here. I shall also post pictures :).


My scarf of cool temperatures is longer than I am tall (its about 6 feet :>>) I feel really pleased and slightly impressed with that. About now many people will be wondering, why do you need a 6 foot scarf (and growing?) Well its called the Scarf of Cool Temperatures for a very good reason. Its light and I like to wrap it around my neck at least twice. Under the hair next to the neck, over the hair to hold it in place and both ends down to my waist so it can be tucked into whatever I am wearing (I'm sure you all really wanted to know those details). Also now its this length it can wrap around your entire face easier (sometimes around here, daftness is in fact repeated).
The Scarf of Cool Temperatures seems to have an unlucky spot on the bus route (I usually knit it on the bus to and from work). In the most bumpy and pot holed spot is where the mistakes or dropped stitches appear >:XX >:-[. The bus is rattling, wrooming and alternatively Raaarrring, flinging you around and that's when the stitch falls off >:-[. Or I have to rip it back to correct something (accidents are more likely to happen when you half asleep). But it never happens outside of this place so I am beginning to speculate..... This places causes the mistake by warping the fabric of space. No? I'll leave it there then with the excuse about tools.


Now I’ve brought up A Song of Ice and Fire by George R R Martin, my favourate series. It’s a series of medieval era (not European, just the style) high fantasy books that are amazingly in depth, vivid and complex. In a scope far beyond what I can describe as well as beyond Robert Jordan and in many ways Tolkien. The characters grow, develop and undergo many trials and Martin does what many authors do not, he kills off the main characters. To quote my brother, “This cub isn’t afraid to kill people off”. These aren’t minor characters, these are major ones, something you’d never expect.



The world is Westros, a strange world where dragons existed and magic still exists. A world where seasons last years and in the winter comes the others. Westros, the land of the seven Kingdoms. Seven Kingdoms united 300 years ago by the Targaryns, Dragon lords from fallen Valeria. The last of the dragon kings died, deposed by the current king who comes to the northern most of the King's lands to Lord Eddard Stark, Warden of the North for help. The land beside The Wall, where the Night Watch stand, protecting the lands of men from the dark. The King needs a Hand, a person to implement his will and rule whilst the King does what he wills.

But leading him there came treachery, which follows with him and brings tragedy behind it.War, betrayal and death. Each House using its members and other houses, weaker or stronger, vying for position, some, individuals of houses sacrificing anyone in their path for advantage, others acting from nobility. This is where the books focus, not on elves, dwarves, orcs and goblins for there are none. The focus is on the people, high and noble, small and weak for everyone has their own goals and plans and no one is the same. Although the magic is there its in the background, it is the (sometime swear filled) interactions that the books revolve around.



Written in first person with a character’s POV per chapter initially took some getting used to and from the start there is no background explanations of what happened, you have to piece together what happened over a decade before to bring the characters to their current positons. The writing is superb, intelligent and every details ties in with such depth it is amazing. Re-reading adds depth as little things tie into what happens in further books. The pace is fantastic, the writing realistic, not sugar coated and the writer expects readers to keep up.



Linky to the first book here http://www.amazon.co.uk/Game-Thrones-Song-Fire-Book/dp/000647988X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1247301579&sr=8-1"

Here is the Rains of Castermere

Rains of Castermere.

And who are you, the proud lord said,
That I must bow so low?
Only a cat of a different coat,
That's all the truth I know.
In a coat of gold or a coat of red,
A lion still has claws,
And mine are long and sharp, my lord,
As long and sharp as yours.
And so he spoke, and so he spoke,
That lord of Castamere,
But now the rains weep o'er his hall,
With no one there to hear.
Yes now the rains weep o'er his hall,
And not a soul to hear.


Here is Amazon's review

The The first volume of George R R Martin's glorious high fantasy tells the tragic story of treachery, greed and war that threatens the unity of the Seven Kingdoms south of the Wall. Martin unfolds with astonishing skill a tale of truly epic dimensions, thronged with memorable characters, a story of treachery and ambition, love and magic. Set in a fabulous world scarred by battle and catastrophe over 8000 years of recorded history,it tells of the deeds of men and women locked in the deadliest of conflicts and the terrible legacy they will leave their children. In the game of thrones, you win or you die. And in the bitter-cold, unliving lands beyond the Wall, a terrible winter gathers and the others -- the undead, the neverborn, wildlings to whom the threat of the sword is nothing -- make ready to descend on the realms of men. A Game of Thrones begins the most imaginative, ambitious and compelling fantasy epic since The Lord of the Rings. Thronged with memorable characters, it unfolds with astonishing skill a tale of truly epic dimensions. There have been many pretenders to the throne of Tolkien: now at last he has a true heir.

I've blathered enough. But I may add something later. There has been no shawl progress since I last mentioned it. ALso there's been no spinning this week. I shall rectify that later this (long) weekend :>>
Have a good weekend everyone. Play nicely and Do NOT give into the socks. Temporary lulls are permissible ;).

Blogging direction and more scarf

I have just realised that I have forgotten my mobile phone and therefore my notes. I make notes on my phone when something blog worthy arises just in case i forget about it.

So what do I have to say today? Blogging and subject therein, Knitting, my first attempt at lace shawl), my scarf and the illusion of sock cuffs (Is that a sock cuff I see before? Nay, it appears to be a suspender-actually I wonder can I persuade CGFB to wear it as such somehow I think not (a hope in hell)),

So where to start. I've been wondering where to go with this blog and what to include. Should I focus on the knitting, spinning and weaving? Once the latter is up and running that is, in the mean time I shall include hysterics about it.
So do I separate the blathery bits from the yarny woolly bits. Or leave them in together? I've not read a huge number of blogs, but they do seem to stick to the yarny point. Rather than wandering around like mine does. I can see the benefits of separating them, I get a bit random and head away from the wool and some people won't want to read that, maybe putting some people off which I really do not want, because although I learned how o knit since I was very young, I've only recently started again. So I'm new to the fancy aspects of it including lace (started first serious piece on Saturday!!). I do really want people to come on, read and make comments, give advice or just be company. But if I get rambley about the world and yarn I may put people off. But I get plenty random about the yarn, maybe it'd be an excess of ramble. on the other hand would I have enough to say about wool, knitting spinning and craft? I hope so.
I'll think it over and see where to go.

So, whats on or being taken off my knitting needles. Well I finished an object, that I'd started an hour beforehand. CGBF does nightshifts and I decided to make him a sleeping mask (which he tried). This took 3 tries at casting on before I got it right. Be assured it'd have only taken 1 if I'd read the band. I tellm myself if only I had its band. Then indeed I could have read it, but I'd lost it which makes my excuse ahem reason more fesiable. Until I confess I had about 6 balls of a different colour sitting right next to the chair. I like to believe I can hold a knitting needle up to my face and say "That wide" and knit form there. However it seems like a challange after this point. Because somehow, it goes from being an inch beyond the eyes on each side, to being almost an inch from meeting at the back within a row. So ripped it out, its but a challange to distract me from my Sunday afternoon leisure time (sitting on my hinderquarters watching tv and (re)knitting a shawl) its a distracting, not a challange worth shrieking "how the hell did it get this length!?". Try two, not as long, but I knew enough to stop before it got that way. try three, worked (isssh, ummmm). Decreased mid way through.
Ummmmm, it seems that no matter how hard i tried to cast on as tightly as possible, it kept getting loose and I ummm had to use the long strang to add anouther stitch. I thought one wouldn't matter . But then one became another one, became three or seven and ummmm never ending. Yea, but it was tight! Which would have kept the sunlight out! Which would have been good. But it also would have covered his ears and been uncomfortable. Which was not so good . But it would mean I could sneek around the room without him do is kommando style instant alert thing and scare me.

It is but small but he should be grateful. Afterall it is the only object that in the 16ish months since I started knitting then spinning (which took over everything else including our spare room) that I have finished anything for him. I make UnFinished Objects (UFOs, I wonder where that term started).

On that subject (and rapidly diverging, lets hope convergancge appears after this), we are no longer living in a time when handknitted objects were essential to having any clothes at all. Once everything from jumpers to socks (untouched and wretched sock) were all hand knitted from home prepared yarn. Socks were once knitted with the heel and toes of thicker and more durable yarn. This was so that this could be picked out when worn and reknitted afresh. Prolonging the overall lifespan of the object, they were worn until they were worn out, repaired then worn some more. Maybe then they were dismantled and the yarn used for something else. Soo if people were relying on my knitting, they'd never be able to leave the house until wearing a thong consisting of a crochet chain and two flaps (for the pre and post crotch area) became acceptable. That or a very large varigated pink with flashes of black scarf, maybe some gloves and a not-supposed-to-be-garter. I may need to my tenacity, or at least divert it from buying Roving.

The Lace Shawl, Or, the new, improved (having no blimming mistakes in it, that I shall not be going into, no point sharing the pain of 84 rows only to discover a mistake at the bottom) revamped (new pattern) doubly ever first time ever lace-shawl.

I threw out the original pattern I'd picked (set to the side actually rather than throwing it out). It is Gail/Nightsongs or Granite shawl and I got the link from http://www.knittingpatterncentral.com/. Basically this site links to many of the free patterns out there on the web. You may notice that there are indicators on each side to show if its a PDF file. My only gripe is that amy cool sounding patterns from Lion brand (US yarn company) whom you need to become a member of which I'm not and don't want to be.

Anyway here is some links to the blogs of other people who have knitted it. This lady gives some tips, pity I hadn't seen it apres Saturday
http://www.domesticrafts.com/Clog/2008/12/08/GraniteShawls.aspx
http://naturalstateknitter.blogspot.com/2009/05/weaving-and-gailnightsong-shawl.html

I haven't got to the end of the first set of charts but if I get a lot done tonight I maybe there tomorrow . Monday night I spent a good hour ripping back 3 rows to correct a mistake. Tuesay we went to the cinema (CGBJ took me, love that man) so nothing was done, Wednesday we had a friend over and I didn't want to be doing it in the midst of distractions. Lets hope....tonight I will be able to get beyond line 23. Arragggghhhhhh.

.
I have finally got a link to a site with a picture of some of the colours (but not mine, strangely I can't find it anywhere which makes me wonder has it been discontinued-Eeeek) on it. It is Wendy Pure ribbon yarn in Mocha, 100% Bamboo and it is really soft and squishy. I also have "Crushed berry" which looks less strong and mad in person. I'm not sure if I'll make a similar scarf with it as this is my seconnd one on that pattern (previous waws peaches, creams and pinks and went to Sardine-hello again (she know not where this blog is, but just incase CGBF lets her know), but I will use this yarn again as it is really nice. Here is some of the colours and some photographs of the scarf itself .
http://www.wendywools.co.uk/
http://www.angelyarns.com/wendy/knit.php/yarn/1704

Spinning, of which I have done none recently. But I have some pictures.... If it works...








Busses
Monday I ended up getting out a bit late and missed the bus I usually get into town. Sitting, waiting, will another arrive in time for me to get into town and get my connecting one, should I walk to the next route.....Start walking see a bus need to get to the stop, get there.... Wait, appearances and speeds are not initially obviously rather deceptive. Waiting, hurry up, hurry up, getting more and more wound up, I'm going to miss the bus to work and have to get the one that turns off early so I have to walk for ages..... Not happy arraggh. Bus arrives, woo hoo. One trial up.

Realise with some dissatisfaction the person before me despite having been there for quite a while before me was not only not ready, but was dithering and taking a while. Wait politely (seriously, I'm not the type to glare, sigh or mutter to hint). Finally on the bus and we are of! Away we go, townwards. Last but one stop, no one there, we slowing to stop. No one there. This stop at which it just sits. And sits, some more, a lot besides, no sign of wanting to move, has he his paper out? Off again, chachum chachum chachum chachum chachum rattle rattle chachum chachum chachum.
He slows down to pick up his friend, we hit the lights and I get to see my bus pulling out and up to the stop I wanted. Now I was thinking I could ask to get out, he'd just stopped for his friend surely he could let me get out? Nope, couldn't get past someone, who glared,and looked outraged that I was speaking to him when I asked excuse me (I was polite, always am)(I rather hope he'd glare at everyone rather than it being personal to only me. Actually I hope that he'd realise that its ok for people to say excuse me). I asked again, ignored. I could see my bus pulling out and up to the bus stop. I'm still stuck behind the grumpy person. Crap. The lights change and both Busses pull off simultaneously like an inconvient choreographed dance, missed it. Stay on the bus, there are at least 3 stops maybe, just maybe in some miracilous crazy insane world that maybe against any and all the rules of physics or worse... chemistry this bus can catch up to the bus that is sitting at the lights just ahead of me. So I can pile out of it and onto the other one without having to run and risk hurting my ankle again.
Ha ha hahahahahaha ha ha. The bus toodles along, nice and slow, relaxed, not a care in the world. Just having a bussy stroll, chatting, to friends. WHilse I'm screaming hurry you, drive man drive, dude-you-have an accelerator-pedal-for-a-good-reason-and-we-both-may-cry-if-you-don't-take-pity-on-it/me/both-of-us-and-use-it.

Next stop, signs that even by standing at the front of the bus I am annoying.
Man (who was mentioned above as the person I got on with) came up and almost yelled at excuse me at me. Looked around, plenty of space in front of me and around me. Made sure was standing as close to baggae bench as possible and said sorry. Repeat yelling and he did a swatting movement at me. I am confused, "i'm not getting off here". Then awareness dawns. He wants his bag which is "behind me". sure enough there is a bag. Beside me if he'd checked to see, moved, said sorry again and away he trundled (realise if he'd got on as fast I would have been in time to catch the bus at the first stop ). Next stop and its clear unless I run in which case I can see it vanishing again I've missed it.
So I decided to get the bus that goes nearby and risk life and limb (my scarf) crossing one of the main roads in Aberdeen and get off the bus. Watching the one I should be on trundle around the corner. At this stage, a certain degree of grumpyness is my companion and I decide (with a vast quantity of non noncense determination), right then, I'm going to knit on the next bus.

I was sitting think "and what?" its not as if I am going to detract from the bus and ergo from the rather plesant and friendly busman's cool factor or damage his mojo/mana levels. -3 to cool, -5 to mojo and -4 to mana. +6 to Eeek there is someone knitting with intent on my bus (i rather thank that my talent, creativity and bravery for knitting on a bus should ahve in some way improved their day, +9 for creativity and +8 good happy vibes).
But I did knit, and admid the sniggering at the anti cool I was bringing to the bus, busman and other people on it I made an error +7 to sniggering, -4 rows. Rip rip rip, the great thing abou the Wendy bamboo is that it doesn't catch, or have strands catch itself on outher strands. It is a joy to rip out and that is such a strange thought. Rippy bounce rattle rattle, rippty, jiggle-try-not-fall-from-my-seat or rip out more than intentional as the scarf slides from my lap.
New Murphey's law. you alwa6ys hit the really pot holed area when your trying to rip out something or put it back on you needles.But manage I did and then, I knit at work as well . Hard core
The rest of the day went well. CGBF had home breaded and slightly herby chicken with potatoes.
Tuesday he had Steak Diane (nice thing for taking me to the cinema, I was slightly dehydrated whilst cooking it, bad vegetarian, I wonder, can you make vegetarian Diane sauce ?) Hmmmm.

Trasformers.
I am one of those who grew up watching Transformers repeats. Good but we didn't really get a good understanding of the personalities of the robots. Lots of dick jokes. The twins. WTF?

Last night (cos this is a catch up post) we had a Bob over. A bob, one of three. But there is only one original and true Bob. Their names maybe remembered when they are not aound, but when they are near, they shall only be refered to as... Bob (or Bobert).

They had a recipie of my devising. Lamb slabs (maybe chop but I haven't cooked it as far back as I can remember so iding was hard and I didn't buy it or ask CGBF what he bought). Cooked in Rosemary, lemon and salt seasoning. Smelled tasty. They were cooked as the potatoes boiled. The pan was heated then switched off and they were just put in it and turned as required. I wanted them pink (they weren't, just slightly beyond that but as I've said, I can't remember when last I cooked lamb).
The juices were poured into a pan with more pure Rosemary with some cranberry and redcurrent sauce (using up the last of the latter) and it was heated to thicken it. I served it seperate in case it didn't go (being vegetarian I couldn't try and see if it worked). But they ate it and liked it. I served it with garlicy mashed potatoes, carrots and peas. (I would like to say that fishing out all the carrots in order to mash the potatoes is a right pain).
I had caramelised onion (nom) with courgette, mushrooms and sugarsnap peas cooked in paprika, mild chilli sauce and some melted cheese. Spot who is missing chorizo .

Dessert was strawberries and double chocolate muffins (choose cake not death) with cream.
Result two happy, full and sleepy guys.

Anyway, I've had several traumatic events today and just minutes ago sucessfully got my phone insurance sorted over the phone. After I was mucking about with the Scarf of cool temperatures. It looks slightly shemagh(ish) with the browns and silvery greys lookie here http://www.opsgear.com/SearchResults.asp?Search=shemagh&gclid=CNqyz-q1yZsCFZwA4wodAnX4Jw and I decided to wear as such. But the needle got caught in the stuff and everything tangled as it does (I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about....Humour me, for goodness sake, don't leave me on my lonesome with the mad). Then the lady called whilst I was still tangled and I had to speak to her and try to keep it out of my mouth whilest not letting on at the same time. It was trying but I managed to wear it with dignity and without her realising I was in some difficulty as well as risk from the needle or laughing wih CGBF who very graciously was finding the whole thing hilarious and was cackling away to himself the entire time.

Have fun and play nicely (unless there is a suspender garter sock involved, in which case, still have fun and play how you like )

Heatwave and solutions

It is incredibly hot right now at and even more so at work right now (not related to me being there ). Lets just say I work in a lab and when you have to work in an enclosed space without any effective ventilation while wearing safety equipment you get rapidly hot and uncomfortable. It is about 27 Celsius (80.6 Fahrenheit according to the conversion website I found) with 53% humidity. It is a sweat box in there and since our office is totally enclosed without a chance for a breeze, its not much better, dryer, but excessively warm.

Great Britain (and Northern Ireland because almost every bugger on the adverts forgets or selectively excludes us I'm not entirely sure why... we are a nice people. most of the time) (Ireland too I suppose) is officially enduring a heat wave. So Why am I knitting a scarf? I'd like to reason that its made of bamboo, which is cool to hold. So it won't be uncomfortable when I handle it, as opposed to wool, which I may stick to (yes Its likely to be that way around). It sticking to me would suggest that it could maybe bounce up and whack into me then refused to let go or come away. Me sticking to it involves me being the protagonist and going up to it, whereupon it sloops on, unravels and crawls all over my body. Tightening its grip as the resulting heat causes me to perspire (ewwwwwgh). Resulting in a feedback loop between heat being produced due to such a fantastic insulator being so close to my skin and me getting stickier beyond the saturation point of the wool. Causing the wool to cling tighter. Or considering that heat and moisture causes wool to felt. Potentially causing an emergence of a woolly version of the Vera cyborg from Superman III. A woolborg, or just a wool drone of the borg. Woolcutus of borg. Resistance is futile, you will join the felt cube and be assimilated. Knitting needle claws and yarn cutter blades, stitch counter armor plating and wool instead of injecty thingies. And I would be a wool queen, able to turn people on by breathing on them Ahhh I can see it now, the wooldrones, the having to practice breathing on people to see when it started to work(I gave some of my friends the location of this blog, I realise now this may have been a mistake )

My superpowers (improved) would be an improved version of, rambling on my blog, smelling horribly of damp wool, making horrible Laaaing noises and singing in the shower, having mad murderous, eye gouging hair (imagine what a person (especially police person) googling for murder to see if someone would think when they read that, Hi, you enjoying this? Was this what you were inspecting? Did you find what your after? You do realise this isn't a feasible or possible method of killing someone. Bet your so feeling like your getting your money's worth for the internet connection. Hope to see you again soon).

Anyway (Prologue 1) i can also use the scarf as a fan. Two uses out of it, which means its multi seasonal, awesome. Another reason is that i am denial about something, another project. Its not worth talking about other than to mention....I may need another sthingyk pattern. Blast. I am also going to re start my project for Lindapie (Hi Linda). The wool for this I got several months ago. Its 2 ply lace weight Merino in the hydrangea colourway. Very nice and rather lovely. I need to put photos up of these things. Including the man garter Now I've acknowledged there maybe another pattern and attached project around. Actually I started and finished an object today. This should show how small it is. It was an eye patch for CGBF to help him sleep after a night shift. Its so bright at this time of year that despite the ultra heavy curtains he can't sleep as long as he needs. We have the new style of curtain pole which stands our about 3 inches from the wall. Although it looks nice and I love the style of it it really lets in the light . Anyway, its knitted out of Twilleys of Stamford Freedom wool in dark blue. Its chunky so it knit up really fast. I'd lost the sodding label so I didn't know the gauge. I cast on 30 stitches, Didn't look wide enough, but on 5 more. Knit the first row and it grew and grew and grew. It covered his ears . Second try, same thing (obviously didn't learn from the first time, which is just a tad daft). The Third time it worked, I put a crocheted cord on diagonal corners to help pin the top and bottom in place and I had a (very amused) and happy boyfriend. Its the first finished object for him I've ever made . Pity it wasn't more spectacular .

Beyond the knitting and back to the tremendous heat...
I have come up with a solution for.. Wor (especially the lab) being too hot.
We need... A floozy... From the Mardi Gras in Brazil (so can cope with the heat and humidity)... to follow us around and fan us to keep us cool.

Now I have suggested this to my manager, my co-workers and two of our financial blokes, and only one of the latter is going for it. Now I thought long and hard about this, offered to go to Brazil (feathered Mardi Gras floozy) with one of the others to pick one. I have been been self sacrificing and put forward getting a female as there are more blokes than girls (girl, me) and a female floozy would be much more appealing. Serve the wishes and inclinations of the many. I was even willing to share with other departments. I was not willing to take her home, but I did suggest to others that they could do it, I'm sure that someone would be happy to.

Its not as if she could stay under the desk here all night to avoid setting off the alarm. its not as if the company wouldn't pay for accommodation for her. The finance bloke told me that there are convincing blokes out there (well done you lot) so he'd have to help us to tell who belongs in which gender box (showed NOT demonstrated the hand gesture to detect this) pick one (personally I'm all for it. Looks like something to please them, but secretly towards my inclination). Everyone'd be happy.

I figure that she could use the head dress plumes to fan us She could fan 2 people using the isis wings style things, another with her feathered head dress and wiggle her bum feather thing at another to help the final person. It all makes perfect sense. and we could paint high heels on the safety boots. The only problem is that people might want her to follow them, or she could only help people in the one room, whereas 4 fans could help 4 rooms.

Whaaat? It'd work and by painting the shoes on the boots it'd go a little way to making her happy.

Actually the other financial bloke (lovely bloke) bought us pizza because things had been so miserable for us (or maybe we (I) were complaining excessively and he wanted us to be quieter for the rest of Friday afternoon).

I got told I was officially cool for knitting on the bus on my way home by this cool little boy, he must have been 8. But I'm utterly pants at guessing these things, he was lower rib height. That felt awesome, I is, the lady. Listening to my Ipod, knitting the scarf and small child started to watch over the back. Now I couldn't really hear what I was saying but when he was getting off he nudged his friend and pointed saying look at this. Then he told me it was cool. I like this kid, prince amongst small humans (not a kiddie person, they scare me) but I liked him. He noticed, was open minded, curious and therefore, is fantastic. Its such a pity I couldn't hear him better (lots other children yelling rather than my ipod being on deafen other people)> I am rather sad I didn't have spare yarn and knitting needles to give him.

But chances are with the way things are I'd be sued if he'd hurt himself .

Cooking, tonight I made for CGBF pork chop with apple sauce.

I chopped the apple finely and put some butter and sugar in and allowed it to cook until soft (I'd prepared the veg). Then I pushed them to the one side and put in 2 pork chops and allowed them to cook low with the lid on top. I boiled some potatoes and peas to go with that. I was really annoyed at not having some mint to cook them with . I had caramelised onions, (pre par boiled) carrots and mushrooms with the potatoes and peas. Dessert was strawberrys that I'd chopped up and sprinkled sugar on to draw the juices out and form a slight syrup. Served with cream. I had one very happy BF. Nom nom nom

No Socks here, only scarves, and a feeling of impending doom

I think that it is still safe to say, I'm having issues (lets be nice and leave it at that) with these socks. I've tried tightening the stitches and still to no avail its still horribly loose (verging on criminally or morally ambiguous -not decided which yet).

I'm also wondering how sensible it is to make them for CGFB, he is notoriously and infamously hard on his socks. Actually since its me who has lost the sock (mysterious happening to say the least) why am I making him a pair? Or at least struggling with a pair? Tis a mystery. But I can happily record that he is delighted with the potential sockodile.

Anyway I'd just started on them when CGBF came thudding around the corner. He has massive heavy shoes and the sound just clatters and bangs kclump kclump kclump kclump kclump kclump throughout the house when he's in the hall (the downside of a wooden/something fake wooden floor). Its like The Terminator is wandering around. I keep expecting him to come into the livingroom/kitchen in the evenings and ask

'Ver ist mein tea, ver is mein socks, you said der was socks dat you made up for me* take off your shoozes, I vant to step on your toes. Ahhh, you haz zee croks on, I vill step on dem tooo. I vill step on dem and your toes while dey ares in dem. Why is zee livingroom filled with zee vool, zis alpaca it iz sticking to everyfing and iz floating. Arragggh der alpaca ist attacking me

*Note, this is true, but I didn't make them up for any nice reason, I made them up so I could use them as ammo and pelt him with them come the weekend while he's settled down and comfortable and I stand at the door. Ah yes, what fun filled days we have. Its all go here when your as easily amused as I am. I'd say we but he protested and gave me a look. where the look appears I do not go (typicially).
Rapid exit to safety once I run out of socks and he's very fast on his feet when the occasion merits it. Or once he starts firing them back, followed by half hour lurk in the bathroom. I have my book stash prepared so all and all the main problem is the fact my aim is an absolute horror. Whereas his isn't. He can be such an inconsiderate bugger, he catches them on route. Then whangs them back. Utterly unfair and discourteous. Terrible.
He also asks (tells) me to not do it, but my excuse (or defence) which is so obviously going to not only stand but takes precedence-I hear you laughing at that.
I maintain that it quickens his reflexes which now I come to think of it isn't wise. They are already rapid enough as it is. It also may someday, many many many years from now improve my aim. Abysmal doesn't cover.

I am currently knitting (ahem, trying to remember the pattern cos its been a long while abandoned) a rather light scarf in various shades of brown and tan. 100% Bamboo from Wendy and rather nice, really soft and squishy. I made Sardine (friend of CGBF, hello ) one a while back out of a different colourway. Pinks creams and peaches. I'm not a fan of pink but the colours looked better than I thought (espicially on her). So to summerise, there are no socks here. Only the menace of socks.

I have also decided based on my experiences over the past few months that I have a Bedmuda triangle in my flat. Think Bermuda, in my flat and instead of ships or planes, my pillowcases (6 approx) and double sized undersheets (3). They go missing, without a trace. This weekend I almost tore the place apart looking for them to no avail. Nothing to be found besides duvet covers (whose origin I'm sure I must be the cause of, buy why I felt the need for so many is a mystery of epic proportions). At the minute I have what is being used + 2 pillow cases and thats it. Which is obviously a major problem at the best of times only to be made worse because its currently Harr Season. For those of you who don't know, Harr is a thick sea mist that comes after a few days of nice weather during which you typicially forget to put a wash on. Then the crunch, its the weekend, up early (apres 7), strip half the bed and replace undersheet with a duvet instead. Roll CGBF over onto that side of the bed and strip the other half. In the confusion change 2 of the pillow cases and put them down.
Run through the house and get that wash on.
Take a minute to take a breath and have a glass of water. Peer through the tomato plants that are triffiding the kitchen window (bush ones ha hahahaha ha seriously). Haar. Everywhere. I can see 10 feet if I'm lucky and the black thing out there is a railing instead of wistful thinking.
The chances of anything dry and fresh getting onto my bed (besides one of us just dried and out of the shower) is about as likely as a mountain Gorilla turning around to David Attenborough (wonders if anyone else hears that Halleluiah chorus there?) and asking "I say old boy, you wouldn't happen to have some tomato sauce I could have to put on these here leaves, they get horribly bland after a time. The same old same old I have to say. None of that cheap saver price stuff mind you, just because they tell me or should I say that funny coloured paper that I get delivered by that strangle little thing down the road tells me there is a recession on does not mean you should let standards slip? No? not a drop, well then I'm sure you won't mind my lady testing your saliva then? She's dreadfully keen on the stuff and although we tell her that the sugar is bad for her she just refuses to listen. That's it old chap, sit still and don't squirm".

Where was I? (Prologue again, actually I've been rather good when it comes to diversions today). Ahh yes, Harr. Well I did get it dry when the wind got up but it was a rather tense few hours. But where has the rest of my stuff gone? I have single undersheets (and oc-incidentially no single bed) but double ones are non existent. As are the missing pillow cases.

The Birds
The haar also resulted in one of the most One-of-a-Kind-experiences last week. I was walking/limping (having sprained my ankle quite badly a few days previously) along a really quiet back road to my work. No one in sight and not a sound besides my Ipod. The Gael from The Last of the Mohicans came on (Promentory). The haar was really thick, all sound was muffled besides the single loud drum beat every few steps. Dum,(feeling of potential impending doom starts here) dum, dum, kwaack, dum, kwaackkwackdumkwackkwack dum kwawo. The seagulls nesting on the nearby buildings on both sides had taken umbrage to my presence (can't imagine why I'm typicially inoffense) the calls of get away from my child(rem) interspersing the drum. The volume and quantity of calls was rapidly increasing. Drums, and gulls and my own footsteps and the soft, swoosh noise of a gull suddenly appearing and passing just above my head as the pipes started.

It was like a scene from the birds. I was really relieved to get out of there (safety, shelter and buiscuits) and into a more open area. For not only are the mob gulls dangerous at best, but they were a rare subspecies of gull that only lives in the area around Aberdeen. A much larger (over a foot tall) subspecies that mobs humans. I kid you not for I have seen it and not it occurs to me experienced a much milder version. Oooh it was a few days since I walked to work that way, even if it meant playing dodge the lorry in the Haar.

Attacked by tomatoes. My second dose of potential impending doomage
I'm being serious here, I was attacked by our tomato plants that live on our kitchen window. I was boiling the kettle (i don't know if these little details help, do they?) and basicially vegetating in the corner until the kettle had boiled. I heard, a russle and a large quantity of tomato vegetation came swiping down just behind me. They brushed me, they were that close. The handle of the window maybe threw them off their hunt. I realised I was almost trapped, wall, worktop and tomatoes (the latter on two sides). Having cussed and stuffed them back behind the handle I exhaled and relaxed, then promptly got nearly landed on again. Then I got CGBF to come and tie it up. Hahahahaha their trapped tomiffids now.

Well thats me slightly blathered out.
Here is a thought for the day, since you can get chicken soup for the soul and get the wrong end of the stick.... Surely you can get pizza for the soul or roving? Keeping with the pizza option, part of my soul is in my thighs, so by eating pizza I'm feeding my soul. No? well roving is calorie free (espicially when you consider that the chinese in the village where I grew up was quite strangely called the calorie chinese! ).

Have a fun evening everyone whatever your doing

Does Random count as a tag?