Heatwave and solutions

It is incredibly hot right now at and even more so at work right now (not related to me being there ). Lets just say I work in a lab and when you have to work in an enclosed space without any effective ventilation while wearing safety equipment you get rapidly hot and uncomfortable. It is about 27 Celsius (80.6 Fahrenheit according to the conversion website I found) with 53% humidity. It is a sweat box in there and since our office is totally enclosed without a chance for a breeze, its not much better, dryer, but excessively warm.

Great Britain (and Northern Ireland because almost every bugger on the adverts forgets or selectively excludes us I'm not entirely sure why... we are a nice people. most of the time) (Ireland too I suppose) is officially enduring a heat wave. So Why am I knitting a scarf? I'd like to reason that its made of bamboo, which is cool to hold. So it won't be uncomfortable when I handle it, as opposed to wool, which I may stick to (yes Its likely to be that way around). It sticking to me would suggest that it could maybe bounce up and whack into me then refused to let go or come away. Me sticking to it involves me being the protagonist and going up to it, whereupon it sloops on, unravels and crawls all over my body. Tightening its grip as the resulting heat causes me to perspire (ewwwwwgh). Resulting in a feedback loop between heat being produced due to such a fantastic insulator being so close to my skin and me getting stickier beyond the saturation point of the wool. Causing the wool to cling tighter. Or considering that heat and moisture causes wool to felt. Potentially causing an emergence of a woolly version of the Vera cyborg from Superman III. A woolborg, or just a wool drone of the borg. Woolcutus of borg. Resistance is futile, you will join the felt cube and be assimilated. Knitting needle claws and yarn cutter blades, stitch counter armor plating and wool instead of injecty thingies. And I would be a wool queen, able to turn people on by breathing on them Ahhh I can see it now, the wooldrones, the having to practice breathing on people to see when it started to work(I gave some of my friends the location of this blog, I realise now this may have been a mistake )

My superpowers (improved) would be an improved version of, rambling on my blog, smelling horribly of damp wool, making horrible Laaaing noises and singing in the shower, having mad murderous, eye gouging hair (imagine what a person (especially police person) googling for murder to see if someone would think when they read that, Hi, you enjoying this? Was this what you were inspecting? Did you find what your after? You do realise this isn't a feasible or possible method of killing someone. Bet your so feeling like your getting your money's worth for the internet connection. Hope to see you again soon).

Anyway (Prologue 1) i can also use the scarf as a fan. Two uses out of it, which means its multi seasonal, awesome. Another reason is that i am denial about something, another project. Its not worth talking about other than to mention....I may need another sthingyk pattern. Blast. I am also going to re start my project for Lindapie (Hi Linda). The wool for this I got several months ago. Its 2 ply lace weight Merino in the hydrangea colourway. Very nice and rather lovely. I need to put photos up of these things. Including the man garter Now I've acknowledged there maybe another pattern and attached project around. Actually I started and finished an object today. This should show how small it is. It was an eye patch for CGBF to help him sleep after a night shift. Its so bright at this time of year that despite the ultra heavy curtains he can't sleep as long as he needs. We have the new style of curtain pole which stands our about 3 inches from the wall. Although it looks nice and I love the style of it it really lets in the light . Anyway, its knitted out of Twilleys of Stamford Freedom wool in dark blue. Its chunky so it knit up really fast. I'd lost the sodding label so I didn't know the gauge. I cast on 30 stitches, Didn't look wide enough, but on 5 more. Knit the first row and it grew and grew and grew. It covered his ears . Second try, same thing (obviously didn't learn from the first time, which is just a tad daft). The Third time it worked, I put a crocheted cord on diagonal corners to help pin the top and bottom in place and I had a (very amused) and happy boyfriend. Its the first finished object for him I've ever made . Pity it wasn't more spectacular .

Beyond the knitting and back to the tremendous heat...
I have come up with a solution for.. Wor (especially the lab) being too hot.
We need... A floozy... From the Mardi Gras in Brazil (so can cope with the heat and humidity)... to follow us around and fan us to keep us cool.

Now I have suggested this to my manager, my co-workers and two of our financial blokes, and only one of the latter is going for it. Now I thought long and hard about this, offered to go to Brazil (feathered Mardi Gras floozy) with one of the others to pick one. I have been been self sacrificing and put forward getting a female as there are more blokes than girls (girl, me) and a female floozy would be much more appealing. Serve the wishes and inclinations of the many. I was even willing to share with other departments. I was not willing to take her home, but I did suggest to others that they could do it, I'm sure that someone would be happy to.

Its not as if she could stay under the desk here all night to avoid setting off the alarm. its not as if the company wouldn't pay for accommodation for her. The finance bloke told me that there are convincing blokes out there (well done you lot) so he'd have to help us to tell who belongs in which gender box (showed NOT demonstrated the hand gesture to detect this) pick one (personally I'm all for it. Looks like something to please them, but secretly towards my inclination). Everyone'd be happy.

I figure that she could use the head dress plumes to fan us She could fan 2 people using the isis wings style things, another with her feathered head dress and wiggle her bum feather thing at another to help the final person. It all makes perfect sense. and we could paint high heels on the safety boots. The only problem is that people might want her to follow them, or she could only help people in the one room, whereas 4 fans could help 4 rooms.

Whaaat? It'd work and by painting the shoes on the boots it'd go a little way to making her happy.

Actually the other financial bloke (lovely bloke) bought us pizza because things had been so miserable for us (or maybe we (I) were complaining excessively and he wanted us to be quieter for the rest of Friday afternoon).

I got told I was officially cool for knitting on the bus on my way home by this cool little boy, he must have been 8. But I'm utterly pants at guessing these things, he was lower rib height. That felt awesome, I is, the lady. Listening to my Ipod, knitting the scarf and small child started to watch over the back. Now I couldn't really hear what I was saying but when he was getting off he nudged his friend and pointed saying look at this. Then he told me it was cool. I like this kid, prince amongst small humans (not a kiddie person, they scare me) but I liked him. He noticed, was open minded, curious and therefore, is fantastic. Its such a pity I couldn't hear him better (lots other children yelling rather than my ipod being on deafen other people)> I am rather sad I didn't have spare yarn and knitting needles to give him.

But chances are with the way things are I'd be sued if he'd hurt himself .

Cooking, tonight I made for CGBF pork chop with apple sauce.

I chopped the apple finely and put some butter and sugar in and allowed it to cook until soft (I'd prepared the veg). Then I pushed them to the one side and put in 2 pork chops and allowed them to cook low with the lid on top. I boiled some potatoes and peas to go with that. I was really annoyed at not having some mint to cook them with . I had caramelised onions, (pre par boiled) carrots and mushrooms with the potatoes and peas. Dessert was strawberrys that I'd chopped up and sprinkled sugar on to draw the juices out and form a slight syrup. Served with cream. I had one very happy BF. Nom nom nom